Nesting in the New Year

Happy New Year! 

I can't believe it's January and another year has wrapped up. We're starting 2020 with a renewed sense of hope. We're working with an amazing adoption attorney who is actively showing our profile to expectant mothers all over country. We've been shown in California, Texas, Kansas, Ohio and other states. Each situation that comes our way is completely unique - this process is showing us time and again that there is no "normal". In some ways, that's comforting. The amount of time we've been waiting can be disheartening. I read stories of couples/families that complete their home study and are chosen by an expectant mom the next month and I want to slap my computer. "It's not fair" screams in my head and ends up leaking out as tears. That's what happens when we compare. The reality is no one promised me life was going to be fair or follow a certain path or be just as I believed it should be. It's taken some time, but I'm trying to appreciate our journey for what it is - unique, beautiful and hard, just like everyone else's stories. 

With that renewed perspective, I've been investing more time in the nursery lately. I've been organizing drawers, rearranging clothes, reminding myself of all the supplies we have and making lists of a few more things we could use. I enjoy creating and completing small projects. It brings hope in a tangible way. 

My latest project has been gathering items for a go-bag. Sometimes with adoptions, you can be presented in a situation where baby has already been born. The planner in me has thought about that reality and questioned many times what we'd bring - and more importantly what we would end up forgetting to grab in a rush to the airport. Thankfully, someone in an adoption Facebook group I'm in had a list of what they ended up taking, using and not needing for baby. 

So here's our go-bag items:

• blankets, swaddlers
• washcloths, towels, bath care
• bibs, burp cloths
• bottles
• onesies and pants
• sleepers
• going home outfits
• security blankets
• pacifiers 
• diapers, wipes
• hand sanitizer

And of course, there's all the items we'll need: clothes, toiletries, phone chargers, snacks, etc. Then there these that I wouldn't have thought of:

• bathrobe for skin to skin contact
• flip flops in case of hospital showers
• photo prop for newborn pictures
• journal to remember every moment
• thank you cards
• entertainment 

When adopting across state lines, there's the possibility of a long stay either while baby is being discharged from the hospital (NICU) or paperwork is cleared. Paperwork has to be cleared by the state you're adopting from and the state you live in. Sometimes it's a few days, other times, up to a month. You can find more info on this process at What Is ICPC. 

In the face of so many different possibilities, I try to prepare for the ones I can, be at peace with the ones I cannot and know there are ones I can't even imagine. God has been stretching me in uncomfortable ways to get to this place. I'm learning to hope without expectation - to hold my hands open and see what the future holds...

I wasn't going to buy Baby Shoe a Christmas present this year, but then my sister pointed out this shirt in a store and I couldn't resist. Lord of the Rings is such a special series to Christopher. It captured his imagination at an early age - the world, the characters, the poetry, the epic-ness of it all. Tolkien awoke a lifelong love of literature, writing and fantasy.

We would love to introduce Baby Shoe to something that does the same for them one day. It's part of why we continue to add to their library. You never know where inspiration will strike.